Why you should absolutely insult your audience

[Above: Grumpy cat]

[Internet sensation unfortunately passed away on May 14, 2019. Image from "WIRED". https://www.wired.com/story/grumpy-cat-obit/]

 There are many reasons why you should absolutely and totally insult your audience. However, you might be asking, ""WHy tHHe heLLl woULd i wanNT to insULt my audiencEEEee???""

Silence, silly monkey. Your thoughts shall not be taken into consideration for I, Zenith, could not give less of a darn.

It is somewhat amusing? There are people who call themselves ""Influencers"" yeah? Now, what is an influencer exactly? The hell would I know.

Some of these unemployed individuals treat their audiences as if they're some kind of fragile God who eats babies when in minor inconvenience or something. And me, personally, I absolutely get it. They are nothing without their respective audience (In this context, an audience would be the group of unemployed monkeys seeking false validation through other useless monkeys. Even better, seeking attention from the main monkey that couldn't care less if they died on the spot.)

However, that's boring. Think about it. What good of an interaction would it be with your followers if it's all just sugar-coated in honey-sweet words? That'd lack substance. And substance quite literally is the main thing which makes a conversation tolerable and non-awkward. 

I also have another point. To prove this, I'll give you an example.

""You're all useless monkeys who will never amount to anything in life and fart on a daily basis because you are incapable of anything other than basic life nourishment.""

And this one.

""I love you all my sweet sweet audience and I wish you have the most success in life and life in the uttermost joy and sunshine and rainbows.""

Well to be fair, the second one might sound appealing to most. However, the thing is, when an individual speaks the latter, the hopefulness they utter it in is usually somewhat "manufactured."

As in, they know damn well they don't wanna say it but do anyway to. I dunno. Appeal to the investors? It's usually to appeal to somebody, whether you or some rando guy which finances them.

The main problem is, most highly achieving people are absolute sticks-in-the-mud who speak as if narrating a perfume commercial. I mean seriously, we get it, you're successful and we're impoverished peasants, sheesh.

And another main factor of my argument is that when an individual with a large following insults their audience, it shows that they are close with them and not the latter. The boldness to make fun of the people who support you shows you that the bond between you and the people who look up to you is intimate. And not in a weird way, for your information.

Now, of course, some of you aren't into that. Maybe the unemployed ""Influencers"" aren't very adamant about picking on their following. Which is yeah, totally understandable. Tough love is something some are hesitant to acknowledge.

I'm not forcing you to do anything or anything. I'm just saying. Insulting your audience is a fun activity! Well, keeping it light, that is.

I'm not telling you to spout out racial slurs at randos on the street. Unless you want to get your bum beat and want to go to the gulag, that is. In that case, you can go all at it. Throw in some poses for extra measure too.

Insulting one is also to be friendly with one. When it's playful teasing, it's totally acceptable. But when you start spouting some life-ending bullying, that's when stuff gets real. You wouldn't want Twitter getting on on your cheeks and whipping out the self-righteous whip of cancellation.

Lord knows what'd happen if you had 4chan on it. Let's not consider that. 4chan haunts me in my sleep.

Either way, just be a nice person who interacts with their audience in not weird ways. And good night,

My dear Fart eaters. Constipated camels. Domesticated donkeys. Wild waterbuffaloes. Explosive antelopes. Snorkeling snotty siberians. Alcoholic Anteaters.

And my all time favourite;

"Monkey" :)