One may feel the sudden urge to just eat a dude. Which is, of course, totally normal. We're all human, right? Everybody's been 10 once. Sometimes you just really wanna eat a dude but unfortunately, you just can't do that. Do you know the diseases you'd get by eating a person? That'd suck. And the worst part? The police twerps would be on your cheeks being like;
"wee woo wee woo heyy whatt r uu doingg"
Now, of course, this totally sucks if you want to eat a dude. Why exactly would you want to eat a dude? No idea. Maybe for the funsies. It could be a neat little conversation starter. But then again, the police twerps. The police aren't just the only twerps that'd be on your cheeks though. Even society; the biggest twerp of them all would be on your cheeks. That's not very nice of them now is it?
So, while eating a dude may be yummy for your tummy, it's totally a no-go.
First off, do you know the diseases you'd get by eating a dude? Even if you cook and season the body there are certain sorts of derpy diseases which for some reason don't die when cooked.
Here poses the problem. If you eat a person and you get HIV it's done for. It's an incurable disease. Once you have it you have it. No going back, no matter how many other twerps you eat.
Not only that, some of the derpy diseases be nasty as hell. For example, the Kuru. It's mostly common in Papa New Guinea where one of their tribes high-key eat the deceased. Unfortunately, I have never eaten a dude so I'd never know how it tastes. But I'm not going to eat a dude because I prioritize my life, believe it or not.
The Kuru is this one disease which spreads when you eat the human brain (zombies, watch out). It's a neurological disease which basically spreads through the proteins found in brains. It's symptoms are dementia, loss of coordination, emotional twerpiness (yikes) and a lot of other stuff which is pretty nasty and a burden to have.
Also, another problem with eating a dude is that while it may be yum yum, it's pretty inefficient. Unless you're stranded on the Pacific with only your best friend Joe in sight, there's no real reason to eat people.
It's highly inefficient. Whatever nutrients you get from dudes, the same you could get pretty easy from other meat sources. And besides, it's said to taste like pork.
That's double haram for you Muslims who might be trying to eat a person (don't).
If you're trying to eat dudes in some kinda sustainable way that'd be pretty difficult. Humans take way too long to fully mature and who the hell do you think is gonna take care of them throughout their lives? Your granny?
Furthermore, some nerds on the Internet say "blah blah blah psychological effect waah waah waah". But since you're here, I have doubts myself that you're a sane person. Hypothetically, if you wanted to eat a dude, the psychological effects won't be too much a hassle.
But you know what will be? The biggest twerp group in the word; "Society". Apparently eating dudes is some kinda social taboo so if you do it the local aunties will look at you different.
This sucks because society is everywhere. And you're trying to eat a dude, not be a loner for rest of your life.
Besides, what are you gonna do after you eat a dude? You'd have to either eat the entire thing, bone and all (yikes) or dump it somewhere. And finding places to dump human bodies ain't easy I'll give you that much.
That being said, good luck escaping from the police twerps anyway. The only thing harder than finding a twerp to eat is escaping from the twerps who've found out.
Decomposing flesh stinks. And you'd stink. Eating a twerp makes you stink. Who would've thought?
Besides, image your fart after you eat a dude. You'd have dudes in your dude-metabolic material. Which is pretty gross. If for some reason you want to know more about fart then check out my other fart-related masterpiece.
I would totally elaborate more on this but Google would whip my cheeks to oblivion. Plz don't demonetize me Google I swear I don't eat peopl—
[Zenith was never heard from again. Legends say Google demonetized him and he died of shock. And because he farted too hard.]
[Oh and by the way don't eat people.]
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