Abnormal Diary Entry [2]

DAY 6 

Date: 11-9-2012

Address: Paratown, Republic of Jimbob

Time: 11:56 PM

Dear Diary,

So I met this cute little doggy today? Oh, how he wagged his tail and jumped around as if he were free! One time, he even bark-barked his way out of trouble! You see, I was hungry, and I tried to get some food..........but I was yelled at.

But Alas, my savior doggy showed him his place! I truly envy his intimidation! Do I envy dogs? Maybe.

But was until he also exploded.

This time, seeing him explode made me sad. I was always taught that dogs were lesser animals. Maybe they are.

But dogs don't go out making people explode. Dogs don't go out killing other animals. And dogs definitely don't go out barking for no reason.
...

Right?

I think we are the lesser animals. 

Diary, am I going insane?

                                                                                        Love,

                                                                                                 Your best friend 

DAY 7

Date: 12-9-2012

Address: Paratown, Republic of Kebab

Dear Diary,

So today I went to the local market and then something so cool happened. So basically there was this 

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BREAKING NEWS

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LOCAL KID DIES AFTER EXPLODING!

AUTHORITIES QUESTION LOCAL BYSTANDS WHO CLAIM TO LACK KNOWLEDGE REGARDING THE MATTER! ONLY EVIDENCE IS A CRAPPY DIARY ENTRY WITH HORRIFYING HANDWRITING!

CONSIDERING THE HORRIFIC EXPLOSIVE DIARRHOEA EPIDEMIC, AUTHORITIES FLAG THE INCIDENT AS A "poopoo missdemanor". RUMOR ALSO SAYS THE AUTHORITIES STRUGGLE WITH READING COMPREHENSION.

LOCALS AGREE THE KID STANK. HOLY MOLY WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME HE TOOK A SHOWER? LOCALS RUN OUT OF TIME UNITS TO DESCRIBE THE QUERY.

ANYWAY, POINTLESS NEWS ASIDE,  TIME FOR NEWS THAT IS ACTUALLY RELEVANT!!!!!

TERRY HALLAND CLAIMS ZONDAYA IS AN AVID FARTER!!!?????

READ THE FULL ARTICLE FOR THE FULL INFORMATION REGARDING FARTS!!!!!!!!!!

fart!!!!!!

OH, AND ABNORMAL DIARY ENTRY FART 1!!!!