Abnormal Diary Entry [2]

DAY 6 

Date: 11-9-2012

Address: Paratown, Republic of Jimbob

Time: 11:56 PM

Dear Diary,

So I met this cute little doggy today? Oh, how he wagged his tail and jumped around as if he were free! One time, he even bark-barked his way out of trouble! You see, I was hungry, and I tried to get some food..........but I was yelled at.

But Alas, my savior doggy showed him his place! I truly envy his intimidation! Do I envy dogs? Maybe.

But was until he also exploded.

This time, seeing him explode made me sad. I was always taught that dogs were lesser animals. Maybe they are.

But dogs don't go out making people explode. Dogs don't go out killing other animals. And dogs definitely don't go out barking for no reason.
...

Right?

I think we are the lesser animals. 

Diary, am I going insane?

                                                                                        Love,

                                                                                                 Your best friend 

DAY 7

Date: 12-9-2012

Address: Paratown, Republic of Kebab

Dear Diary,

So today I went to the local market and then something so cool happened. So basically there was this 

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BREAKING NEWS

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LOCAL KID DIES AFTER EXPLODING!

AUTHORITIES QUESTION LOCAL BYSTANDS WHO CLAIM TO LACK KNOWLEDGE REGARDING THE MATTER! ONLY EVIDENCE IS A CRAPPY DIARY ENTRY WITH HORRIFYING HANDWRITING!

WAS IT A GAS CYLINDER ACCIDENT? WAS THE KID MENTALLY STABLE? DID THE KID HAVE ANY LOVED ONES?

LOCALS DENY EVERYTHING.

ANYWAY, TIME FOR NEWS THAT IS ACTUALLY RELEVANT.

TERRY HALLAND CLAIMS ZONDAYA IS AN AVID FARTER!!!?????

READ THE FULL ARTICLE FOR FURTHER INFORMATION REGARDING FARTS!!!!!!!!!!

fart!!!!!!