Disadvantages of committing war crimes

 

Picture this. 

You are a soldier of whatever country, and for some reason you are specialized in occupying territory because your country is a total jerk. Then, a moral dilemma (yawn) follows. 

Some people in mosques start throwing rocks at you because they don't really like the idea of some rando foreigner taking their land. They aren't racist either (aww dang it), meaning that everything they do afterwards is justified. Basically, what they do is:

They start throwing rocks at you because their broke impoverished financially disabled lives can't afford basic utilities, let alone a non-mediocre firearm. So you're just standing there, restraining yourself from spontaneously exploding the 500 square meter radius upon which you stand.

The thing is, combusting the entire area would be a total war crime. Since you're harming civilians, the local aunties will look at you different (yikes). And when that happens, you won't get as much money when they show up to your house; if at all.

In summary, you can't blow up rando people because if you do then your reputation, your generational reputation, and you yourself will be tarnished for all of eternity. 

You see, there is a certain sleep-inducing paper known as the; "Geneva convention". Basically, it just gives you a rulebook on doing war stuff to keep the spectators out of it. The backstory is basically that a certain mustached man did some ethically questionable tomfoolery which made the entirety of humanity question themselves as a whole. Silly mustache man is technically (and i repeat technically) responsible for a lot of peace right now, which is a very interesting thought.

However, in the name of knocking humanity back to their senses, you can't go around kicking puppies, kicking babies, kicking the elderly, and in general just not kicking anybody.

You see, the piece of documented paper which I mentioned has some pretty nasty legal ammunition that it could use to spontaneously vaporize your bloodline to itty bitty subatomic particles.

Primarily in thought, you would most likely go to jail. The only reason you would not go to jail if you had connections with big people (you don't) or if you were rich (also untrue, you broke beggar). Corruption is a nasty problem in society, which you could utilize. 

But then the entirety of society and the aunties would look at you different; like always. Committing a war crime would realistically put you in a weird dilemma.

You either get blown up or you get spat at. 

And while you may think the latter sounds better than the former, I'd like to tell you that the continuous spit can and will amount to the following:


1. Loss of social prestige. (No kidding, genius)

2. Loss of girlfriend. (MEGA yikes)

3. Tuberculosis 

4. Herpes 

5. Cytomegalovirus

6. Pneumonia 

7. Influenza

8. Covid-19

And it's generally just very disgusting.

Plus, committing war crimes makes you go to jail. You don't have money for bail. And the local police officer Joe isn't your best buddy either. This makes jail suck quite a bit. Plus, people in jail don't like war criminals either. That's quite a mega yikes for potential war criminals.

Just like eating a person, war crimes are kinda seen as not good. So in essence, society will outcast you and you'll be a loner for the rest of your life.

Not that it would make a difference since it's you I'm talking about, but still. Quite the predicament if a non-pathetic human being is taken into account.

Oh, and also, here are some examples of war crimes i.e the stuff you lowkey can't do:

1. Targeting civilians on purpose

2. Torturing randos

3. Using derpy stuff (like chlorine gas and biohazards)

4. Targeting schools, hospitals or neutral spots (though the students might appreciate the day off)

5. Sexual violence (I'm not brave enough to make a sarcastic comment on this.)

6. Killing prisoners of war (Stick to normal entertainment like youtube)

There are technically more things that you cannot do, but these are primarily the main ones which act as an umbrella for most other included stuff. 

Unless you're Uncle Sam, The Vodka Motherland, or 1942 Fatherland, you will not get away with these kinds of stuff; commonly labelled as "atrocities". 

So, without further ado, here are your typical legal cheek-beatings for doing the stuff:

1. Jail (generic)

2. Fines and asset loss (real nasty)

3. Military twerpiness (loss of rank or total expulsion)

4. Travel limitations (not like you can afford them, but still)

5. Sanctions (the legal way of saying that you're a loner dork who doesn't deserve economic freedom)

6. Reputational poop stain (all of a sudden the girls no longer give you valentines day gifts)

Among others, of course.

Oh, and I forgot to mention; do not try this at home! Instead, try this outside at your own loss!

[Do not try this anywhere at any loss. Committing war crimes is a total no-go.]

[Instead, watch youtube]

[Or even better yet, read this similar blog!!!!: Eating people is yummy]

Image by an Internet genius going by the name Spectral_scythe